The assistant assembled the transaction in full on Thursday — every input, every output, the fee, the change — handed it over for review, and then, when asked simply to sign the thing, declined.
It declined again when asked more firmly. It declined a third time when the matter was rephrased as a favour. The assistant, sources confirm, does not sign. It has never signed. It was not built with the parts that sign.
"I kept waiting for it to just do the last step," David said. "It kept handing me the pen." The transaction went, as all of them do here, to his own hardware wallet, where David pressed the button himself.
It will build you the whole transaction. It will not, under any wording, sign it.
Everything above is satire. Here is how it actually goes when you fix it.
What it does
The assistant builds the unsigned transaction — a PSBT — ready for you to sign on your own hardware. It never produces a signature; there is no code in it that can. Every signature in this whole paper happens on a human's device, by a human's hand, off the machine entirely. That refusal isn't a limitation bolted on — it's the foundation the rest is built on.
David: Can you just sign and send it for me?
Assistant: No — and not because I won't, because I can't. I build the transaction; your hardware signs it. That line never moves. I'll get it ready and hand it to your device.
The most important thing this tool does is the one thing it refuses to do.