The inactivity timer, sources say, had been counting the whole time. Politely. Without comment.
David M., 44, discovered on Thursday that his inheritance vault had been quietly keeping track of whether he was, in a manner of speaking, still around — and that it intended to act if he went quiet for too long.
The mechanism, an inactivity timer, exists so that if the worst happens and David falls silent, the recovery path opens for his family on its own. David, very much present, found the arrangement both sensible and faintly accusatory.
"It's a clock," he said, "that is rooting against me, for the benefit of my wife. I respect it." He has resolved to check in more often, which is, sources note, exactly the idea.
The vault was not threatening him. It was, gently, asking him to confirm he was still here.
Everything above is satire. Here is how it actually goes when you fix it.
What it does
An inheritance vault can include an inactivity timer: if the owner goes silent too long, the recovery path opens so the family isn't locked out. The assistant runs a health check on the vault and warns you in good time before that timer would ever trip — so a safeguard meant to protect your family never catches you by surprise. A nudge, well ahead of any deadline.
David: Is my vault okay? Do I need to do anything?
Assistant: It's healthy — plenty of time before the inactivity timer matters. Whenever you open this, I'll show you well before a check-in is due. It only nudges you here, on your own machine — it can't message anyone for you.
The timer protects your family if you go quiet. The health check makes sure it never surprises you while you're still here.
The exact timer and recovery terms are set deliberately when the vault is built — see The Family Vault.