The M. family trust — forty-one pages of careful legal language drafted to protect everything David owns — was found this week to protect everything David owns except the Bitcoin, which is the only reason the trust exists.

The document authorizes the trustees to manage "all property, real and personal," a phrase lawyers have used for centuries and that covers houses, cars, boats, and, it turns out, not a single satoshi.

The problem, per family attorney Marcus, is a law with the unlovely name RUFADAA, which governs whether a trustee may legally touch a "digital asset." Without specific language naming "cryptographic keys, wallets, and seed phrases," the trustee arrives with full authority over the boat and none over the fortune.

"It's the most expensive omission I've ever seen rendered in beautiful typography," Marcus said. "Forty-one pages. The one sentence that mattered wasn't one of them."

Sarah, named successor trustee, noted that she now held ironclad legal authority to sell a canoe.

The canoe, sources confirm, was not the point.