None of the three, the review notes, were present when the vault was originally drawn up.
The yearly review of the M. family vault concluded on Thursday that the family it was built for no longer entirely exists — having since acquired a second child, a Labrador, and a new state of legal residence.
The vault, drawn up two years ago for a family of three in one state, now serves a family of four in another — a discrepancy the review flagged with the patience of an accountant and the quiet dread of a parent.
The dog, the review confirmed, has no role in the vault and is not expected to acquire one. The new state, however, changes the legal picture; the new child changes the plan. Both had gone, until Thursday, entirely unaddressed.
The vault was perfect for a family that has, in the meantime, quietly moved on.
Everything above is satire. Here is how it actually goes when you fix it.
What it does
Once a year, the assistant walks you through what life changed — a new heir, a new attorney, a move, a marriage — and flags what the vault, and the paperwork behind it, should rework. A plan set two years ago is not automatically a plan for today, and "set it and forget it" is how families drift out of their own arrangements.
David: We had another kid and moved states. Does that matter for the vault?
Assistant: Both matter — a new heir changes who the vault provides for, and a new state changes the legal side. Let's note what needs reworking and what to take to your attorney. The plan should match the family you have now, not the one you had then.
Life moves; the plan should be made to keep up with it, on a schedule, on purpose — once a year, deliberately.
The legal side of any rework belongs to a licensed attorney — see The Paper Side.